Vacuous . . . Like . . . Duh . . . .

Have you ever heard about the Darwin Awards? Those awards are named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, and commemorate those who “improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.” (Meaning they do something really vacuous and usually end up dead because of their vacuous deeds.)

Vacuous (vak-yoo-uhs) is an adjective that means empty, without content. Characterized by a lack of ideas or intelligence. Stupid. (Vacuous reminds me of “vacuum” which describes a space that is completely empty of matter, a void. Which totally explains why blond jokes are so funny! Blonds are vacuous where their brains should be. Total emptiness!)

I just read about an incident that was submitted for consideration for the Darwin Award. The incident happened in January of this year. A 63-year-old man was trying to get rid of a mole from his vacation property. The man pounded several metal rods into the ground and connected them to a high-voltage power line. While standing on said ground. He was so effective in his efforts to get rid of the mole that he electrified the very ground he stood upon! He was found dead at his property and the police had to trip the main circuit breaker before venturing onto the property. What a sad and shocking ending he had. One minute he was just fine. The next – zap! He was gone. To outside observers, this was a rather vacuous thing to do. (It sounds rather harsh to say stupid, dumb, or unintelligent . . .)

Let it be known that I do extend my deepest sympathies to this fellow’s family – and for anybody else who did something to get nominated for a Darwin Award. Regardless of how a person dies, the family left behind is impacted by the death and feels a loss.

A book could be vacuous – inane, stupid, unintelligent. In my opinion, Harlequin romance novels fit into this category. A movie could be vacuous (Monty Python and the Holy Grail or Napoleon Dynamite). Politicians can make vacuous promises or remarks. Anything that is devoid of ideas and intelligence or is downright stupid could be considered vacuous.

I hope you don’t consider me a wiseacre for my comments about the Darwin Awards. Wiseacre (wahyz-ey-ker – divide it into the two words ‘wise’ and ‘acre’ and you’ll know exactly how to pronounce this word) is a noun that means smart aleck or a wise guy. A wiseacre is also someone who is a cocksure, conceited, and often insolent person. Somebody who is inclined to make sarcastic remarks. Someone who is a joker who makes fun of others all the time.

Wiseacres are bores to be around. After the initial ‘funniness’ the first time or two, their sarcasm and smart aleck-ness tend to get very tiresome and you feel like yelling “Enough!” Alas, many times wiseacres tend to be socially clueless and don’t realize that others are fed up with their sarcastic humor.

It’s getting late. My brain has gone to bed while my fingers are yet typing. I’d better stop before I type something really vacuous . . .

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